Who Wrote This Crappy Scene?

You know how, as an author, you’re allowed to write a crappy first draft, right? The first draft only has one purpose: To catch the story. From there, you edit and polish, until your story gets interesting.

Last night, while discussing this with a writer friend, my main character Amber got a hold of my manuscript.

Oh, shit!” Amber leaned back towards the wall. “Who wrote this crappy scene?”

Mike eyed her from the door. “Some horrible writer for sure, but can you do better?”

“That shouldn’t be too hard.” She dropped one of the pages to the floor, bent down to pick it up, and dropped the rest of the stack. Papers formed an unorderly fan around her, but what worried her most was the smug smile she imagined would be on Mike’s face. She peeked through her silver white hair. Oh, yes, of course he hadn’t missed such a great opportunity to gloat.

“Then do it. Write your story as you think it should be.”

“I certainly will.” She tossed her hair back, got up, and kicked the papers. Who needed them anyway. Then she headed for the table where a computer stood, waiting. I will write my true story, as it really happens.

Five minutes later, she leaned back, proud of her work so far. This was much better than what the crappy author had written. She would just stretch for a moment and then continue.

Her back got warmer. Mike must have walked over to her without she’d heard it. Then he was bent over her shoulder, looking at her screen. “This was just another ordinary day for Amber Shapiro,” he read out loud.

“While fighting seven demons, the stunningly beautiful angel managed to have breakfast with her boss and tell him what she planned to do that day. ‘So you’re off to save the world from another world war?’ Her boss nodded approvingly. Amber didn’t waste a second. To the sound of a thousand trumpeting angels, she descended to earth in one elegant jump, and began her fight for world peace.” Mike smiled. “I’m so glad we got rid of that crappy writer.”

  1. LOLOL

    I love this! So funny and cheeky! Now I want to read what that crappy writer wrote…

    • LOL

      Well, those books will not be published. Not because they are all over the place, but because I wrote to market. Then another market. Then a third.

      It all started with Amber entering my life. A chubby, feisty, clumsy guardian angel. My first book (Amber Alert) didn’t sell that many copies (no advertising and I was a BRAND new writer – except for three short stories, this and the previous novella were my only works). So I asked for advice about the best category to put them under. The book wasn’t real cozy. It wasn’t paranormal either. So in my following books (and I have several) I wrote more cozy, more paranormal romance… and ended up with things I didn’t like at all. It wasn’t the true Amber.

      I will get back to her after I have more books out in my new cozy series.

Britt Malka

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